Let's talk about this guy
Welcome! This site is intended to be a resource for anyone interested in resilience, especially those who have had challenges from substance abuse and addiction. I never imagined that type of problem would affect me, let alone massively alter the course of my life. But it has.
I started experiencing significant lower back pain in my early 30s. For many years it was intermittent, but the pain could be severe. I tried managing it in the usual ways: ibuprofen, ice, massage, chiropractic care. These measures helped, but there were times when the pain was excruciating and debilitating. Prescription opioids were the only way to get relief. As a healthcare provider who was exceptionally knowledgeable about pain, I had insight into how this agonizing pain could be managed. I understood pain and addiction on every level: psychological, physiological, and neurochemical. Frankly, I thought I was too smart to get into trouble with opioid dependence or addiction. I had also seen patients who seemed to be seeking pain medication inappropriately. I didn’t want to be “one of those people”.
Then one day I crossed the line. I decided I would treat my own pain. I was desperate for relief. I was too confident and proud to let my physician manage the situation. Looking back, I recognize that I felt ashamed at being in such pain. I’m not sure I understand that, even after years of reflection. But the bottom line is that I have no one to blame but myself. I became addicted to pain medication.
You can read about what addiction is like from many other sources. I want to tell you that addiction is strong and subtle and deep. Your will gets bent, and you feel compelled beyond reason to feed your addiction. Priorities get lost. Addiction is a bitch! But it can be treated. I believe it can be stopped and put behind you.
In July 2019 I admitted my problem and sought help. I was desperately ready to be free from opioid dependence. I went to the Positive Sobriety Institute in Chicago for about 7 weeks of intensive support and education. Their approach was a good fit for me, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I was surrounded by healthcare providers and other professionals who were committed to dealing with their substance abuse problems. The staff members were outstanding. I am thankful to say that since going to PSI, I have not once taken – or desired to take – any medication inappropriately, nor have I had any alcohol whatsoever. (When building your recovery foundation, it is wise to avoid any and all addictive substances).
There are many paths to recovery from addiction. I needed something science-based, but also guided by a philosophy I could believe in. Twelve step programs help many people, but that approach is not a good fit for me. I have built a solid recovery using modern psychological approaches including the following alphabet soup: CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), REBT (rational emotive behavioral therapy), DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy), ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy), and Buddhist-inspired mindfulness meditation. The field of Positive Psychology has a lot to offer those building a life free from substances.
I was fortunate to be exposed to SMART Recovery while in Chicago. It incorporates virtually everything I mention above. SMART Recovery is legit, and it’s an amazing resource! I have been involved in sponsoring a local SMART meeting since the fall of 2019, and I’ve also enjoyed being involved in SMART’s medical and mental health professionals recovery meeting on the national level.
A few of my photos...
more about me
I’m taking a chance here – being real in public. Please be kind!
My name is Andy Hartwig. I was born and raised in Iowa by parents who were middle school teachers & who have always believed in me. The Iowa I experienced as a child didn’t feel a lot like the right wing conservative place it has become. But I still love it. I’ve been an oral & maxillofacial surgeon (OMS) for over 20 years. I am currently unable to practice, having lost my license due to issues revolving around opioid addiction. The addiction problem is dealt with on a personal level, but there’s a lot of fallout. It’s a long story that I will get around to writing eventually. More of my professional story is below (*).
I’ve been married to a warm, fun and wonderful woman for over 30 years. I’m not completely sure how she has tolerated me at times, but we genuinely enjoy each other’s company and many of the same things in the art, entertainment, travel, and culinary arenas. Celine is an incredibly talented, award winning & museum-acquired photographer. Our kids are adults that we enjoy and are really proud of! Our daughter is studying medicine at Case Western University in Cleveland, and will officially be a certified physician’s assistant later this year. She’s a little cat crazy. She has a fiancee we love, who is finishing his law degree at Washinton University this year as well. Our son will complete a double major at the University of Iowa this year (2023) in Finance and Business Analytics. He is an encyclopedia of sports knowledge, and has become a major film buff, too.
Interests
I love virtually all foods and everything that goes with it: cooking, shopping for groceries, planning meals, prepping ingredients. I think it’s fair to say that I’m a good cook, baker, preserver, and pit master. The good stuff is supplemented with the occasional Totino’s Party Pizza, or Doritos Locos Taco. And potato chips. Lots of espresso. There are few sources better for building a collection of recipes, cooking & baking techniques, and tool & gadget reviews than Cooks Illustrated and America’s Test Kitchen!
I have enjoyed working with wood, including making a stand-up paddle board, wooden kayak, and quite a few model boats and other small models. Sky watching is often on my mind. I never get tired of looking at our moon, of seeing Jupiter’s moons, or Saturn’s ring. Same goes for birds and clouds. Speaking of the sky, I have really enjoyed learning more and more about astronomy, cosmology, and quantum physics. These are topics I can happily lose myself in for hours.
Celine and I love being outside together on walks, whether it’s an urban setting, a path through the woods, or around a lake. And if we can share it with our Pomeranian Sandi, even better!
Personal Views
I view the world as a scientist and secular humanist. I believe in evolution. I trust Richard Dawkins and Neil deGrasse-Tyson. I am a skeptic and tend to doubt things – or at least remain neutral – until I have read about both sides of an issue and formed my own opinion. I like a good paradox- intellectual discord. I think it’s really entertaining to see both sides of an argument and appreciate opposing strengths. I don’t have or want religious faith. You’re certainly welcome to yours! It is a great thing for a lot of wonderful people. But am I the only one who finds it mind blowing that significant numbers of Americans aren’t in favor of social supports like universal health care, believe in creationism, and that their prayers about trivial things are sometimes answered (while illnesses and natural disasters affect millions of humans on any given day)? I think the universe is a wondrous, awe-inspiring place! It produced Tina Fey, Jack Black, and Ina Garten, FFS!
I am politically liberal. I trust Obama. Social Democracies like Denmark, Norway or Sweden seem like models we might want to follow. If I ran a business that made billions, nothing would make me happier than to share massive profits with the people who work for the company at every level. Don’t get me wrong – I would spend an obscene amount of money on shoes and art. But I’d give most of it away.
If you have read this far & would like to touch base, you can probably reach me at: i o w a n i c e (at) i c l o u d (dot) c o m. No spaces in there of course.
(*) Oral surgery is a very specific field that might seem like a strange thing to do every day. Those of us who do it share some characteristics: I’ve never met an OMS who is not exceptionally dedicated, persistent, and intelligent. To become fully trained, it is a minimum of 12 years of education after high school: 4 years of college, 4 years of dental school, and 4 years of surgical residency. About half of the OMS programs in the US are 6 years because they include formal training to earn a medical degree. Then there are the very rare birds like me who do scientific research along the way, which can lead to a masters or doctorate in a basic science area. I earned a PhD in pharmacology, and did research in a neuropharmacology lab that (ironically) studied pain. Pharmacology is not “Pharmacy.” It is the study of how medications/drugs act on the body, and how the body processes them. I ended up with 15 years of college and graduate education.
Back to OMS. In four year programs, nearly half of the training is medical. We perform IV anesthesia independently, so training in anesthesiology is a major emphasis. Internal medicine, general surgery, plastic surgery, neurosurgery, and critical care rotations give us a solid base of medical and surgical training that informs our daily oral surgery practice. We do spend a lot of time removing teeth, and I can tell you: it’s one of those procedures that can be completely straightforward and routine, but it can also be incredibly technically challenging, even when you’ve done it over 100,000 times. If you need to have a tooth removed, see an oral surgeon!
I decided against academics because research funding is incredibly competitive to get and maintain. I also didn’t love the political atmosphere I saw in the academic world. I was very fortunate to come along when the OMS in Iowa City, Dr. Ed Lorson, was ready to consider taking a partner. He was a first rate partner, teacher and friend. After I joined and saw how busy we were, it became obvious that we needed a bigger office. My wife Celine (and our amazing realtor Jill Armstrong) found a lot for sale that was in a great location, and within a few years, I had built a new office for the practice that would easily allow 4 surgeons to practice.
The practice grew, and after Dr. Lorson retired, I was very fortunate to practice with some really great oral & maxillofacial surgeons. Great associates and/or partners all, and we’ve had an absolutely outstanding clinical and administrative staff all these years, too. I miss everyone there terribly.